Life Update

Sooooooo it's been a hot minute y'all. And that hot minute has been a long, stressful, overwhelming 4 months. I am going to do my best to give you a summary without dragging on. 
So I've been living in Okinawa for 4 months. Annnddddddd it hasn't quite been all the hype that I was hoping it'd be. Between starting a new job when school had already started and trying to enjoy the island while under tight restrictions, it hasn't quite been smooth sailing. 
Going back allllll the way to having arrived on island my in-processing hit some roadblocks. I had some issues with my CAC ID (government ID) that prevented me from having access to encrypted emails, that was one trip to the CAC office, then issues with my ID showing restricted access to base. This resulted in a back and forth with security forces with my sponsor/coworker/work mom that did end up giving us fun memories. Within my first 3(?) weeks of being here, I already made acquaintances with our Chief of Staff for DoDEA when she assisted in getting me on base and getting me in contact with someone at security forces to figure out why my CAC randomly switched to denying me access to base. The issue was never determined so I had to get a new CAC within 2 weeks of getting my first one. 
The next few months included a short-lived relationship, finding a house and making it a home, figuring out how the heck to navigate a new job position with a new program design amidst COVID restrictions, and all the other "new" I had submerged myself in. And y'all I was drowning. (And I still am if I am being honest.)
The first quarter of being at the school was all about figuring out how to implement said new program design and proving myself as an educator. I was stressed and overwhelmed with the workload and expectations to do things right. I shall add many of these expectations were my own. (Thanks, perfectionism and work ethic) Luckily I found some of "my people" within the first few weeks and I am able to feel like a part of a school family again. But just when I started to feel like I had my head above the water, anxiety hit its peak and I had my next anxiety attack with a migraine following the next day. My body hit its limit, or so I thought. I spent the next 2 weeks of the holiday break trying to relax as much as possible but I continued to have lingering thoughts of all the "to-dos" waiting for me at school and true doubts about my decision to live overseas. Having to spend Christmas morning alone didn't help either. It was a weird feeling waking up and not being with my family for the first time in 28 years. But rest assured, I was able to spend Christmas evening with a friend of mine and her family (thanks Paloma!).
When we came back to school from break time didn't slow down at all. I had to finish up student referrals and analyze data in order to have our review committee determine services for students. All the while trying to meet with students to provide services, plan activities, and everything else that my job involves, and it's A LOT for a new teacher in the position. 
I hit a breaking point 2 weeks after having come back from the holiday break. And boy did I break. With the stress and weight of work requirements bearing down on me, the news of my father being in the hospital with a newly discovered heart condition lit the fuse. I endured another anxiety attack but this one was bigger than any one I had experienced before. I am thankful for my school counselor for being present in my time of need and the willingness to be with me as I went to the hospital to get help in my time of need. Specifically speaking, the doctors diagnosed me with Adjustment Disorder which is typically temporary once the adjustment period of a life event passes.
After this most recent anxiety attack, it is the first time since being here that I admitted to myself I am NOT okay. But, I am hopeful that I will be. 
I don't write this to gain sympathy. I write this to let people know the truth about my transition overseas. But I also write this for anyone who may be struggling, you should know, it's okay not to be okay.